Jeffcabulary

This page is dedicated, with love, to my friend Jeff (and his many aliases). Jeff has the best verbal smackdowns I have ever seen, so much so that I just want to share them with the world. With that said, please enjoy the Jeffcabulary.

A disclaimer:

THE OPINIONS AND VIEWS EXPRESSED BY ME ARE NOT EXPECTED TO BE LIKED OR LOVED SO WITH THAT BEIN SAID TO THOSE WHO GET OFFENDED BY ANYTHING I SAY CAN GO TAKE A LONG FUCKIN WALK OFF A SHORT EMPTY PIER WITH CONCRETE AT THE BOTTOM OF IT - REGARDS, MANAGEMENT - I AM......

On Success

SUCCESS - HAPPINESS WITHIN ONE SELF BEFORE ANOTHER COULD MAKE YOU AS HAPPY. FAILURE - TO BELIEVE THE HYPE OF ANOTHER OPINION OTHER THAN YOUR OWN, TO CONFORM TO MASSES BENEATH YOUR STANDARD OF PRINCIPLE AND LIFE - BEFORE YOU PRAISE ANOTHER, PRAISE HIM, THEN YOURSELF - I AM....

Classic Jeffy

I SEE SOME OF U INGRATE, IGNORANT, IGUANA SHIT-BRAINED ASSHOLES ARE GUNNING TO BE THE NEXY BATCH OF TARGET PRACTICE I DECIDE TO TRY OUT - I SWEAR I'M GETTING BACK INTO THE THEORY OF HATING PEOPLE - I AM....

The Doctor is In

I JUST REALIZED I'M A DOCTOR OF MANY PRACTICES - MY FOOT IN UR ASS, PROCTOLOGIST - I'M A ORAL AND HEAD SURGEON WHEN IT COMES TO, SWINGIN A CHAIR OR A BOTTLE, OR AT THE GUN RANGE TEARING UP TARGETS WITH HEAD AND CHEST SHOTS - AND I HAVE THE ...CURE FOR ALL ILLNESSES SUCH AS IGNORANCE, STUPIDITY AND HATRED - ITS CALLED IGNORING AND REMOVING YOU - CALL ME DR. KILPATIENT - I AM..

Are You Ready for Some Football?

MOST MEN AND WOMEN ARE LIKE THE LIONS - POINTLESS, USELESS, WORTHLESS AND FULL OF THEIR OWN SHIT - I AM.....

Hypocrisy

U'D GET MAD IF I CALLED U A BITCH...U'D LAUGH IF YA GYRL CALL U ONE, THEN U LABEL URSELF ONE...SO IF ALL 3 COINCIDE, Y GET PISSED?....BITCH...

Honesty

JUST WHEN U THINK I LIKE YOU......I DON'T - I AM...

Backstabbing

I'M NOT THE KIND OF PERSON TO GO BEHIND UR BACK TO TALK SHIT, I BRING IT TO YA FACE AND MAKE UR MIND IS THE TOILET THAT I TAKE THE SQUAT IN - I AM....

Forgiveness

IM NOT THE FORGIVING TYPE, IM MORE PRONE TO FORGETTING....THAT BEING SAID......FUCK OFF.

Sympathy

THE NUMBER TO THE HALLMARK DEPT OF SYMPATHY AND FEELING SORRY FOR CERTAIN PEOPLE HAS BEEN CHANGED - THE NEW NUMBER IS 1-800-FUCK-OFF EXT. CRY ME A RIVER, BUILD A BRIDGE AND JUMP OFF OF IT - I AM........C/O 2012

Constipation Cure

A BETTER RESULT TO END CONSTANT CONSTIPATION - A FOOT UP YOUR ASS - I AM........C/O 2012